Trust Your Soul

the hardest thing you ever go through may be learning to trust yourself.  we have to believe we have a divine right to the same respect others demand of us, and enforce that – not compromising.

 

if you are a parent, you will be teaching your children the value of their own integrity – even if others decide to treat them poorly for having self respect.

 

it is a challenge many single mothers face, but you can begin by knowing that there is nothing wrong with you – even if others deny you the the respect you deserve.  no one is walking in your shoes but you.

 

are you poor?  this is a condition that can be changed – if people look down on you for how much money you have be grateful you are not as cruel.  a condition of life should not ruin your life – keep going and find what you need.  ask ask ask – many people get stuck on the problem – find a solution.

 

are you speaking and not being heard by someone?

try finding someone who will listen to your point of view, it is important we are are heard and understood – even if we are wrong, it is much kinder to hear us out and help us understand our misconceptions – teach us instead of attacking or putting us down.  you can’t get blood from a stone and you cannot be loved by a cruel person.

 

are you feeling overwhelmed?

is there someone you can call who will listen and offer nonjudgemental help?  can you tell someone how you feel and not worry they will either use it against you or make things worse?  if no one you know can lift you up right now, prayer is always an answer.  if that is not enough, and you need someone to talk to call a prayer line or a hotline.  they are there so you feel connected and encouraged.  i have called world ministry of prayer for affirmative prayer help – they are available 24 hours a day.

 

do you need an hour on your own just to think?

it isn’t a crime to turn on the TV and sit by yourself while the children are entertained.  find your center.  sit outside if you can.  sing your favorite song out loud to yourself, or repeat, “I can be peaceful within my storm” until you believe it.

 

are you exhausted from arguing?

refuse to participate.  “this isn’t the time or the place” is an acceptable answer – even if the other person won’t accept it, you are allowed to walk away.  physical presence does not mean you absolutely have to engage with someone.  there is nothing wrong with refusing to battle.  many abusers rely our our engagement – get away, and if you can’t, try to not to engage in the discussion or argument.

 

have you let yourself cry?

crying releases the tension – even when you can’t name where it is coming from – and allows you to feel your pain – and get through to the other side.  if you are unable to let yourself cry out of pride, remember, even Jesus cried for our own deep sorrows.

are you stuck?

if possible refuse to think about the thing is causing you stress.  if you are worried about a meeting, court date, school conference, or anything that isn’t happening right this moment and it is consuming you – make a promise to yourself not to dwell on it until a certain time.  for example if you are at work and there is nothing you can do about it until you get home tell your mind you will think about it on the way home.  many times solutions appear when we finally let go of our attachment to the problem.

 

do you have to?

do you absolutely have to do something that you don’t want to do?  will your world fall apart if you don’t or are you making up reasons to put it as a priority?  do you really have to go out friday night?  do you need those hours at the gym?  does the house have to be perfect before bed?  do you really ‘need’ a drink (no one REALLY needs a drink).  will the world end if you let your child win this one argument?  will life fall apart if you give yourself a break?  I assure you, it won’t.

 

do you feel like a robot?

are you always meeting everyones needs except your own?  schedule in even five minutes for you.  it may not seem like a lot, but shutting the bathroom door to put your head in your hands and laugh at all that is driving you crazy can help.  laugh at it!  most of it is our own self made stress.  let it go.  “this too shall pass” and we are all taking ourselves far too seriously – you can, and are encouraged, to be joyful through your trials.  I know it sounds unbelievable, but there are times when so much is going on – in the same minute – that i have to laugh.  somehow my mind manages to pull off ten things in two minutes.  how?  I can only believe it is by letting go and letting go – there’s no other way I can imagine planning out meals, laundry, telephone calls, paperwork, bills to pay, dirty socks, feeding our animals, cleaning & managing a shower all in less than an hour.

 

are you putting something off?

do something you are wanting to do.  sing in a church choir if you’ve always wanted to sing.  sing by yourself.  plant seeds for fun – you don’t need a garden, just a pot.  paint something you shouldn’t paint just so you know the “rules” aren’t really rules unless you make them for yourself.  you can paint anything and have fun with it.  move the couch, throw things away or donate all your old clothes that remind you of time in your life that is over.  wear the silliest clothes you love somewhere and enjoy not dressing for “appearances” but for comfort.  go out at night under the stars, if it is safe, and remind yourself how grateful you are that even though things are hard, YOU don’t give up – ever.